For much of the last five years, I have experienced intermittent athlete's foot (tinea pedis). I contracted this foot fungus from the Gaetan Dugas of athlete's foot, Sean Wokker, after wearing his of pair sheepskin moccasins. I mistook the exothermic reaction on my foot for the warmth of luxury, enhanced by the glee of running about stoned in his McMansion wearing another man's moccasins.
I'm aware of the dangers of this impediment and I guard myself against it. No, I don't use Tinactin; my athlete's foot cannot be thwarted by standard means. It requires Lamisil-D. And that shit is expensive.
Changing my socks daily, that's the best defense. Unfortunately, I don't always have fresh socks to wear. I may grab a pair out of the laundry or find a pair from last week on the living room futon. But c'mon, I can only do that for so long.
Luckily, I have roommates. Phil has provided me with socks for the last four days. [I would have asked your permission if you had been home.]
(I'd also like to retroactively thank Todd and Colin)
But when Phil ran out of socks after I took that final pair today, I knew it was time: the time to buy more socks.
I've been to a TJ Maxx's before so I figured the one in Allston wouldn't be too different from the one in DeVargas mall.
They weren't that different. The shopper next to me was converting the prices of bowler shirts from dollars to pesos, aloud.
As he converted, I stood awed before the sock rack.
How do you know the sock will fit if you can't try it on?
Don't lie to me. A range 6-12 sock is supposed to accommodate both an eleven year old and someone with a foot the size of six-foot-six Erik Powers? ¡Mentira!
What about thickness? How thick will the sock feel in the shoe? I know the weight of body will certainly press the fabric down making it thinner, but will the fabric bunch with weight exerted?
How loose is the sock? How smooth is the material on my skin?
I quickly tried to examine how many employees were on the floor. Was that Mexican guy wearing all red a Crip, or a salesperson?
I surreptitiously slipped the sock on.
I knew my effort would be stymied by the plastic device keeping the sock attach to the cardboard. Regardless, the trial was fruitful. I could see the sock was bunching at the heel.
I examined the sock rack again. "Irregular." Irregular? What does that mean? Why are they selling irregular socks? Are all the socks irregular? Or is that a Nike Brand? Or is it tailored for someone with a foot like my mother? This confounded me again. I now had to look for defects, impurities, or at least improprieties.
Life used to be easy. White people used to wear Golden Toe. Golden Toe was bought out. They aren't the same anymore. That's what the man at Dillard's told my father.
Can I wear Calvin Klein socks and still feel in touch with my street people?
Can I buy Joseph Abboud and not support terrorism?
When I go back to TJ Maxx to make my return, will I again see those four Mexicans involved in some kind of strange French living situation? Lady, why are you holding his baby and and also kissing his wife?
Things works themselves out. By tomorrow morning, I think Phil will be done with his laundry.
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